Growing up with a dad who was a lifelong IBM executive, I learned early that the initials IBM stood for “I’ve Been Moved”. But after this advertising extravaganza I saw in The Wall Street Journal yesterday, I think the title of this post might be more accurate.
On the first page of this 8-page magnum opus, there’s a large photo of a black executive looking off to the left and a headline that reads: “The Other IBM”.
Okay, so far. Opening to the first spread reveals a full-page photo on the left of a white executive standing on the floor of an enormous warehouse with the line: “IBM Business Consulting” while on the other side is a text heavy page. And that’s where things started getting a little weird.
I won’t go through it chapter and verse, but the copy is straightforward and somewhat interesting. But interspersed throughout are numbered, purple boxes in each of which is a bold subhead and a paragraph, and what jumped out from each subhead were words like “beast”, “feifdoms”, “kingdoms”, “quest” and “slay”.
However, this unexpected use of Arthurian lingo is somewhat explained by a cute cartoon at end of the page that features two knights discussing the proper means of slaying a dragon. Hmm?
Expecting more Holy Grail talk, I then turned the page and found, yes, a damsel. However, this damsel is sitting in a corporate jet, gazing out the window. Along the bottom of the page you once again see: “The Other IBM” only this time it’s accompanied by a very straightforward list of what it “is” and “is not”, things like “Is Accountable For Results”, “Is Not Academic.” Okay, so much for the Knights of The Round Table.
Except on the next page, there’s a large visual of an Asian gentleman (so we’ve done the PC trifecta: a black man, a woman and an Asian dude). And a headline that reads: “The future is a dragon. Do you hear it coming?” While on the opposite page is more long copy, some more purple boxes and yet another cute cartoon with knights in it.
Thoroughly confused at this point, I figured the last page would be a jump ball. Either a “family of man” shot on some factory floor or…
You got it. A blonde, Joan of Arc like figure in full chain mail armor, holding her helmet in the crook of her elbow while staring with great intensity off to the right. While just to the left of her is the headline: “Commoditization Is A Dark Foe. How Will You Escape It?”
I’m sure that last line read better in the original Chaucerian version, but I’ve got to tell you I have no idea what this mixed green salad of metaphors is supposed to mean. Starting with what century are we in? Is the enemy Voldemort or Accenture? And how on Earth did this 8-page “plea bargain” of an ad ever get out?
By and large, IBM’s advertising has been fairly extraordinary–certainly within its category–in recent years. But this Sir Galahad in the Gray Flannel Suit approach gives new meaning to the phrase “I’m of two minds about it.”
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