Archive for December, 2007

38DD

There’s no question the culture we live in is just a wee bit obsessed with measuring things. And nowhere is this more evident than in the marketing/advertising world’s seemingly mindless embrace of the Internet as a medium. Just look at the golconda of “metrics” it provides, for god’s sake!

However, as the subhead to an article in The Economist recently (and pointedly) put it: “Such a lot of data, so little information”. Oh, I understand the position marketers find themselves in. With accountability all the rage, lacking numerical support for one’s actions can be a career-limiting move. But when this intrepid quest for data approaches the point where it rivals the hunt for dental floss after a meal of corn on the cob, something is wrong.

Or, given the lead paragraph in this article, maybe it’s everything: “Imagine you’re an advertiser, you want to place your banners on the most popular website, and you want to know how much to pay. Globally, the leading site is Google, which has the most ‘page views’. Or is it Microsoft, whose various sites have, in the jargon, the most ‘time spent’? Or should you go by unique users, duration, hits, click-through, impressions, queries, sessions, streams or engagement?”

Apparently, no one knows for sure, including Bob Ivins of comScore, who’s quoted in the article as saying the web generates data like “a fire hose shoots water” and determining what any of it means, if anything, is a challenge not unlike “putting a straw into the fire hose to take a sip”. And only a few sentences later, there’s this doozy attributed to an unnamed, internet “old-timer” who came right out and admitted: “We produced hit numbers because we could, not because it was useful.”

Which gets me to wondering if we aren’t asking the internet–with its myriad quantitative resources–to answer a question no amount of data can resolve: How long is a piece of string? Or worse still, running the very real risk of doing what Jim Albert, a Professor of Mathematics and Statistics at Bowling Green State University, warned of when he said “You can prove any silly hypothesis…by running a statistical test on tons of data.”

And no, that’s not my Luddite petticoat showing again. I like numbers, I embrace measurement, in fact, as creative people go, I’m something of a nut for empirical evidence and Data Head is my best “Cranium” category. So there. But I continue to suspect that what the sellers of the Internet as a medium are selling and what the buyers are buying are two very different things. A notion I couldn’t help reflecting upon today after I read in The New York Times that the FTC finally cleared Google’s merger (sic) with DoubleClick.

Now doesn’t this union of portal prowess and data depth prove beyond any doubt the singular attractiveness of the internet to marketers and advertisers? Maybe. But I’m reminded of what has to have been one of the economist John Maynard Keynes’ most trenchant (or at least comprehensible) observations. He compared the stock market to a beauty pageant in which the judges are required to vote on which contestant the other judges will select as the most beautiful instead of the person they would vote for themselves. So, is it not possible that the purveyors of internet advertising (Google, for one) are touting the data they can generate, not because these numbers are inherently so meaningful, but rather because their buyers find them irresistibly attractive?

That’s the trouble with measurement. Without fully understanding the motives of the people behind it, there’s not telling what you may be led to believe. Kind of like the old joke: Why do women have such poor depth perception? Because they’re forever being told that this (the span of the teller’s thumb and middle finger held as far apart as possible) is twelve inches.

Gekko Was Wrong

Never mind the CDO, SIV, subprime mortgage debacle we’re going to have to suffer through for the next couple of years, where greed is an especially malevolent force is in the marketing/advertising arena. Particularly on those occasions when a marketer seems to feel that despite the commanding share his or her brand presently holds, it’s just not enough.

Not enough for what I’ve never been quite sure. But I have a hunch not enough to propel said executive’s career high enough, fast enough is a big part of the answer. For example, what could possibly have motivated Nike to shift the running gear portion of its account from Wieden + Kennedy to that other plus-sign monikered outfit, Crispen, Porter + Bogusky? Given W+K’s track record, so to speak, the industry was understandably nonplussed by the move. But apparently, Nike’s 57% share of the market just wasn’t enough for Nike VP of Global Marketing & Category Management, Trevor Edwards.

Not a man easily satisfied, this Trevor, considering that at the apogee of its market dominance around 1962, General Motors had to be content with a 50 share. Which is about as half-full as the stein is for Budweiser today. And then there are those slackers Google and McDonalds who can only manage shares of 42.3% or 40% of the markets they dabble in. But Nike sees an opportunity to get beyond 57%. So, we get an agency shift and a first commercial that is truly pitiful. (See for yourself at nikeplus.nike.com.)

One part bad “Quest For Fire”, one part bad “Braveheart”, one part bad “The French Connection” among other other things, and wholly miserable for the last twenty seconds culminating in the immortal words: “Need motivation.” which I don’t think will be nudging “Just Do It” from the pantheon of advertising rallying cries anytime soon.

What this travesty will do for Nike’s market share in running gear I can only guess. But I know one thing. At the end of The New York Times article where I read about this spot there was a quote from Alex Bogusky in which he said: “We didn’t want it to feel like a Nike commercial in the beginning…”

No problem, Alex, it doesn’t–in the beginning, the middle or the end.

Hardly “Blown Away”

Back in the dark ages, when art directors still sketched out their ideas with felt markers, it sometimes took an exceptional airbrush artist to bring certain concepts to life. One of them I’m sure you’re familiar with even if you were still in diapers when it first appeared because it can still be found in dorm rooms all over the country–Lars Anderson’s inimitable “blown away” guy for Maxell audio tape.

I don’t know who the retoucher was on this job, but it was a masterful bit of visual legerdemain. Something just about any idiot with a computer can pull off today–and often does–as the examples that follow bear witness. Continue reading ‘Hardly “Blown Away”’

Eeyore At Twelve O’Clock

That same art director pal who used to intone, in his Memphis accent so thick you could pour it over pancakes, “it’s easy to criticize” had another wonderful expression–for things that were unlikely to happen anytime soon such as Halley’s comet or Marty & Ralph approving a campaign the first time around–which was: “when donkeys fly.”

Well, now I’ve seen exactly such a thing. Only in this case it was a piece of internet advertising that really, truly worked: The “don’t give up on Vista” banner ad that greeted me when I opened to my Times homepage last Friday. It’s not there today, but I hope it reappears because it’s genuinely swell. Continue reading ‘Eeyore At Twelve O’Clock’

Brazilian Ads?

BertolliCoyness, coquettishness, not showing everything you’ve got–plunging necklines and skin-tight jeans (stuffing optional) notwithstanding–are all part of the seduction game. Which is what I believe extraordinary advertising is basically all about, too: Charming, artful seduction.

So I’m all for playing hide ‘n go seek with the sponsor’s name. Heck, some of the best art directors to ever practice this craft were so good at it the only place a client could reliably find the company’s logo was on his business card.

But what Bertolli is doing here–and has been doing for an interminable period of time–is the advertising equivalent of a Brazilian bikini wax. I mean anyone who can’t find what these chefs are supposedly so desperate to hide must think the fully Monty is a kind of card game. Continue reading ‘Brazilian Ads?’

The Power Of Names

I stumbled across an article I saved from The Wall Street Journal last spring and it got me thinking about this topic. Not just as it applies to brand names, which would be the normal purview of this site, but also in the sense of “names” as the investors who put up the money to back Lloyd’s of London are called. Because it doesn’t take much of a reach to see that a strong brand name is actually a form of insurance. Or to put it another way, as a way of avoiding the real economic cost of not having one.

And here’s an interesting case in point. However, before I launch into it, to give credit where credit is due, I am hardly the first to suggest that extraordinary advertising and the powerful brands that stem from it is a form of insurance. The Ries’s, pere and fille, do a very good job of making that argument in one of their books, entitled oddly enough “The Fall Of Advertising & The Rise Of PR.”

But I digress. To get back to the economic cost of a weak brand name, I would offer as Exhibit A this article from The Journal devoted to the struggles GE has experienced getting its Monogram line of high-end kitchen appliances to be included in the same consideration set as Wolf, Viking, Sub-Zero and Miele. And it’s not like they haven’t been trying. According to the article, GE has been at it since 1987, and invested $100MM over the last two years alone in an attempt to make some dent in the market with relatively little success thus far. Continue reading ‘The Power Of Names’

All Talk?

One of the great things about this racket is if you have a few readers who are fairly intelligent, the posts practically write themselves. And I have both: few readers and intelligent ones. (My vocabulary does wonders at scaring away the riffraff.)

At any rate, a few days ago a reader sent along this article about some speeches that various CMOs made at Ad Age’s recent Media Mavens event, thinking I would find what they had to say encouraging. Now, setting aside for a moment the fact these folks often talk a better game than they play, what really struck me–and it wasn’t the least bit encouraging–was something these speakers didn’t mention.

Most of them were prattling on about how the advertising agency model needs to be totally rethought or these CMOs would soon be taking their business elsewhere. And as proof of this, the article’s author cited a number of examples of brands that have moved over the last year or so from large agency networks to, as he put it: “…smaller–if not necessarily small creative shops.”

So far, so good. But when I took a gander at this list–Subaru, Volvo, Jeep, Sprint, Dominos–a horrible realization dawned on me. None of these brands has been doing anything in the way of extraordinary advertising lately that I’m aware of. I’m positive Jeep, Volvo and Subaru haven’t because I’ve seen their stuff. Sprint and Dominos I haven’t noticed, which isn’t exactly a good sign.

So what’s the deal here? Does the movement of business to these “smaller–if not necessarily small creative shops” reflect a greater appreciation for the extraordinary advertising these agencies are capable of? Or is this shift just the lead-up to another variation on the old fast food CEO joke?

You know, the newly-installed CEO at a fast food company arrives on the job and is handed three envelopes by his recently deposed predecessor? One reads: Open in 3 months, another: Open in 6 months and another: Open in 1 year.

But being the impatient, take-charge type so many CEOs fancy themselves to be, this individual just starts opening them right away. Inside the first it says: If business hasn’t improved by now, fire the ad agency. The second one reads: If business still hasn’t improved, fire the CMO. And inside the last one is the simple instruction: Prepare three envelopes.

Stupid Human Tricks

Finra adThe Financial Industry Regulatory Authority, or Finra, has a new advertising campaign, this being a frame from one of its TV commercials. And there are a bunch of print ads and radio spots to go with each more stupid than the next.

Or let me rephrase that, the ads aren’t really stupid. They’re just embarrassingly ordinary, obvious, first portfolio-level executions. The stupid part comes from Finra’s underlying belief that there are people out there so ignorant of basic financial terminology they might actually relate to the misconceptions these ads traffic in. Continue reading ‘Stupid Human Tricks’

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